For a long time, I had a cardboard sign on my piano which read "will compose 4 food". Anyone who came to my office saw it, most just laughed or smirked, but few said anything. Once a student asked why the sign didn't state something more "meaningful" like "will compose 4 hope". My answer was that for me composing was as necessary as eating, breathing, etc. It is a primal act of existence, that I need to keep my life in balance.

I know that over the years, through periods of drought, my creative life has left me frustrated. No new notes meant a lack of the basic material of day to day existence. Even various conducting and double bass gigs were not enough to fill the creative void during these times of low productivity. To me, proof that the sign on my desk or the statement I made to the student many years ago are not trivial, but a true reflection of life as a composer.  

Over the next six months, I'll have the opportunity to compose uninterrupted by my academic duties and I thought I'll take this time to reflect on the things that come up during this period. Some reflections may seem too spontaneous, but to me these impromptu moments transform into gems like my at first flippant phrase, which now defines who I am.